When a loved one passes away, many members of the family want to show their last respects and grieve the loss of someone that they loved. If you have a family that is in a bitter feud, it can be hard to get both sides of the family together in one place to mourn the loss in peace. The following guide walks you through some tips for ensuring your loved one's funeral goes as smoothly as possible when you have a quarreling family.
Don't Be Afraid to Set Guidelines.
Before anyone even comes to the wake or funeral, be sure to set guidelines for everyone who plans to attend. You can send emails, texts, or call each person to let them know what things you will and will not accept at the wake and funeral. You need to let them know that quarreling is not acceptable and that if they feel that they cannot hold back from arguing with the members of the other side of your family, then they should not come to the wake or funeral.
Don't Be Afraid to Separate Quarreling Family Members.
At the wake and the funeral, do not be afraid to designate areas for each side of the family. This may cut down on the tension that can occur if quarreling members are required to sit next to one another at the service. You can label the sides if necessary with small signs or have an usher at the event to help people find their designated seats.
Let Everyone's Feelings Be Respected.
On the day of the wake and funeral, be sure that all family members are respecting one another. If you feel that someone is not respecting someone else's feelings, pull them aside and explain to them that you want everyone to be respected. Everyone will be mourning, and showing no compassion to the members of the other side of the family will not help the situation at all.
Allow Both Sides of the Family to Speak.
At the wake, be sure that members from both sides of the family are allowed to speak. This will allow everyone to feel that they were able to say goodbye to their loved one in a way that they saw fit. People will be able to share fond memories that may end up bringing both sides of the family back together.
Keep the Service Short and Sweet.
Be sure that the wake and funeral stays on track and is as short and sweet as it can be. You do not want the members of the family to be in the same space for too long together because it can sometimes cause emotions to boil and quarrels to break out.
Having to plan a funeral service for someone you love can be hard enough. Having to deal with a fighting family can make the process even more difficult and heartbreaking. If you explain to both sides of your family how difficult the process is for you, they may be able to put aside their differences for one day and love you and the person who passed away enough to get along.
Contact a local funeral home, such as Lawry Brothers Funeral Home, to get their help making your loved one's funeral a meaningful experience for all members of your family.